I remember talking about Amish weekends to fellow developers. One weekend where the use of phones and computers is not allowed. It is a sublime form of torture that I impose on myself a few times a year.
I remember their shock and the natural question: why?! is it hard? what do you do?
These are the same questions that were addressed to me in high school when I would say that I didn’t watch television. At the time even being able to use a computer was considered elitist, “nerdy” - before it was cool to be one - something only a loner would do. It was 2005. Today everyone is on the internet all the time. What happened?
We could say that the use of the internet was further dumbed down. It’s fundamentally impossible to not be able to download an app from the store and chat your fingers away. My mom, 67 years old, sends me audio messages on Whatsapp but cannot attach a file to an email. There’s an increase in public services that are available through the web (filing taxes, buying tickets, booking medical exams, shopping…). And yes, being tech savvy is cool nowadays.
I believe these are superficial reasons and the root cause is a bit more disturbing: we’re hooked. We’re addicted to our phones. There’s an easy test to know if you’re addicted to something: give it up. Try to stay even one hour away from your object of desire. Now think: are you looking for it because you NEED it for something the way you need a spoon to eat? What would you do once you have the glowy rectangle back? check notifications, answer emails, continue the chain of waste production.
In the past few weeks I’m fighting a personal battle. It’s a silly one. It might make you laugh. It makes me giggle too, don’t worry. I cannot seem to be able to leave my phone on the desk when I need to use the restroom. I’ve faced small-scale addictions before to a particular video game, to a website, what have you, but I cannot put a dent in this one. Even if I know how bad it is, even if I know I want to stop this, the phone has always been in my pocket - or in my hand - every single time I go.
At work I justify myself saying that I’m taking a small pause and should answer personal messages outside of “work time”. I feel the non-existent judgement of colleagues even when I hold my phone to check an MFA code. But what about home? What happens in the morning after I turn off the alarm (on the phone, obviously)? The parasite attaches to my hand and I bring it with me from then on.
I’ve put the phone to greyscale mode. It’s very cool, but it didn’t help. I remember once again in high school I was an avid IRC denizen. In order to focus and study for my finals I had to clear one side of the desk and sit opposite to the screen. Then I would study for one hour straight, then two hours straight etc, until after a few days the pull of the screen was no more. It’s a trick a teacher taught me and I used it until my thesis discussion. I’m trying to recreate the same physical distance to no avail.
There’s almost a millenarist attitude: I do believe that I’ll be a new person once I’m able to get rid of the parasite. I’ll have more time, more energy. My brain won’t be clogged in useless stimula. I’ll go back to being a human, no longer cyborg, I’ll breath fresh air and write interesting blog posts. For now you’re stuck with this.
If anything I wrote resonates with you consider listening to this podcast, it’s pretty cool: https://www.humanetech.com/podcast